dr.Cavaliere Good evening,
as I mentioned already on the phone these past few 10 months have been for me to "hard working staff."
As my problems were only brought to light but never really settled , it was pretty obvious that sooner or later I would again re- landslide in the same crisis of all time.
And frankly I myself, after some time, I realized that I could see very clear even then my problems, but then at the end I was so "under the thumb" of my insecurities that face change seemed to be much more harmful than "accept" grimly what life gave me and which has not made me happy.
This dictated by the fact that I have always stuck in complex situations, sick and I drew from them a kind of sap vital that make me go on.
And on we went, even amid the tears, in pain, doing much harm to me and sending distress to those around me, although cause and contributing cause of this situation.
And everything is gone, until the end of last year, walking walking, I found on the edge of a ravine, flanked by fellow I love ... and there, between my life and my despair, between the sadness of a way of being and the difficulty of having to make a real difference between him and me ... I chose ME.
And this led me to sit in front of a therapist to 18 h of 24 December, including tears, pain, and so on and so forth (known well the topic).
From that moment I began a journey with great difficulty, still act, which did not make me a martyr, a victim of external events, but rather an idiot only victim of his own stupidity.
It was not easy to start, and I do not speak of the first session, I am talking seat number 5, 6, 10 or 15 ... where it seems that talk talk and nothing works. Then suddenly something changes ....
I often describe myself as a submarine that wanders in the depths of the deep pointing the telescope time to time veso someone or something "to save".
Now I'm here to save. The viewfinder is on me ....
Today's better, much better. Although not fully resolved, even the journey is still long.
But I now I am conscious that my change is for ME. I'm working because I'm good, not for me to accept. If others accept me for what I am better, otherwise you leave lose.
Regardless of where this will, what I aim is to safety, to feel good inside, serene with myself. I no longer the goal of pleasing others ... this is a consequence of my change.
I have a lot more confidence, I like myself more, I dedicate it to me, and I do not affects more than the opinions of others.
Now if I buy a dress, if I go to the beautician, if I change the hair do it for me, not my man.
time ago 'I had the blonde dye because I like the blonde him.
months ago 'by chance one afternoon I went to the hairdresser and I said: "Today I return to myself."
I set my hair light brown and natural so I liked the most. That's fine.
I love to my man, but at least, I want the same to me same. My goal is to volermene more.
I get the idea?
with affection.
Stella
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