Giulia
Who the fuck are you? Let me start this way. I am upset, angry, distressed ... I just read "sexual bulimia" (http://www.maldamore.it/bulimia_sessuale.htm) and I feel pretty bad ...
I asked myself "Who the fuck is this? As you know all these things?" should not be so obvious, nor so frequent, I resent the idea that they can be frequent, I do not think so. I had the feeling that someone would write on my own on the internet, I felt betrayed.
Rationally I know it's stupid, and I apologize for having expressed in this strain is not in my ways, but I'm writing in the wake of the moment, and I find it ... communicate (I naturally also give you some you do not know why.
You maybe yes, this hypothesis irritates me as well) that the emotions generated by what you've written, uncensored, no-frills. I do not know where I'm going with this ... I just wanted to tell you that "someone" read what you wrote and that has a certain effect ...
I do not like the comparison with bulimia ... the first few paragraphs I found them stupid, irritating, but as I read I began to feel sick. I do not like the terms you use, all those derogatory terms, as if I did something horrible that makes me bad ... I do what I do for others, just because they love me as far as I want. Each has its own ability to exploit, I have mine, exploit them, why should this make me a bad person? That is, they are, and I know, I'm a bad person, but is a price to pay to be a better person in the eyes of others, to be special. I do not like you use those words ...
I also find that relates to the clichés about "making friends with the pussy" and other things, honestly, in some cases it is surely right, but it's something stupid ... I am no longer a teenager, but never have done for those reasons ... are being treated for several years, I had several depressions and altrproblemi, but be aware of things is not always enough. In some cases it is just so, perhaps they are a bad person, a slut for sure. And this is not the problem, the problem is to suffer because people makes me feel guilty of what I do ... I wrote a lot ... I do not know why. Except that no one had ever informed this way ... I do not know what to say or that I want to repeat.
Thanks for your attention.
---------------------------------------- -------------------
I saw that you published my mail ... "Testimony." It feels a bit 'clinical case, a finding by the laboratory. Not that there is used in more than ten years of analysis and therapies and so we made the call, as is never pleasant to hear phrases as "I would also mention the issue with a colleague of mine, a bright, would surely have a lot of interest in dealing with a case like yours, of course without paying.". However I do not want to ask you to remove the mail, I do not deny that I am glad deep down, in a perverse way, as you can understand, moreover, egotism and exhibitionism belong to me. As far as I'm concerned you can also publish this if you feel is useful, perhaps removing any personal references.
However now I just wanted to write a few notes, cold. Thoughtfully.
I repeated several times in the previous mail, I did not know why you I wrote - I continue to give of yourself - now I know. It's actually quite obvious: As I wrote I do not like the "tone" of your publication. This feeling singled out as "bad person", when in fact everything I do I do it just to avoid being seen in this way. So I wrote it is a spontaneous desire to redeem, to manifest in any way, it is not so. I'm not a bad person.
In reality they are, there are people I care who have suffered because of me, and the guilt is terrible, but if it were not for this, perhaps, they could feel good. I'm a smart girl, intelligent, sensitive, and I just poter dire che sono davvero molto bella. Non mi piace l'idea di venir catalogata secondo qualche luogo comune, quindi lo puntualizzo. Ho molti interessi, anche se devo riconoscere che, probabilmente, nessuna delle cose che ho fatto, a cui mi sono interessata, l'ho fatte per passione... non credo di aver mai fatto niente per me. I miei interessi perdono d'importanza rapidamente quando la mia vita si scontra con gli altri, a quel punto sono i loro che contano. Credo che potrei stare a parlare per ore di calcio, o di religione, di filosofia o di moda... suono, canto - niente di speciale, sono incostante - e ho fatto sfilate, ma tendo sempre a nascondere quelle che sono le mie vere passioni, che magari vedo come "strane" e temo che potrebbero dare un'idea wrong or negative about me. I take care of my culture and my dialectical capacity for cases like this, a situation where I can not suck, but still feel the desire to hurt you in some way.
I think what you wrote is a bit 'too simplistic a view and the result of men who can not grasp all the way to certain nuances. Certain needs. It is not a matter of - as you wrote - to show off with the others. It's about feel special ... want to ... looking for. The men, from an early age, they begin to preach this "cult of pussy" type with praising "her pussy and those who live by" and the like.
always talk about this subject, and how nice to find a girl that is offered without fuss. As if that was the most important thing in life. This "glorification of the bitch." So I can tell you that you can think ... feeling of being * that bitch * that the people celebrate ... makes you feel good, makes you feel important.
This is really wrong? What moral and conventional optics, this should be so wrong? Sure, there are diseases ... but I do not do anything but give everything I can. I try my statement with the means at my disposal, and there are no bad intentions in this way, they are a very naive and very good girl, I never want to hurt someone, I would just like be sought, promoted, not alone. There are times when you feel alone, even when you disappoint someone, or some project went wrong, and then there is nothing nicer than to enjoy a man. To see him with those eyes looking at you as if you were the miracle of his life. It is wonderful to know that as things can go wrong six
still able to enjoy someone in ways that others can not. With a little effort to make his day better, worthy of being remembered, to become special to him. What's wrong with that?
Whatever the risks, because there should be no courses? People who have served made history as heroes. Those who have sacrificed to serve their country, or their king or their faith, or whatever. And they are seen as persons worthy of esteem for the simple fact that they have lived for something they believed. I do not do the same thing?
I serve the male. I sacrifice my life for that of someone better than me and more enjoyable. I offer the entertainment you want. What's wrong with that? The only problem, the only real problem is that someone will suffer. What some people consider this behavior, my * behavior *, wrong. Family, friends, boys who fall in love. They suffer from what I do, and they make me feel guilty for loro dolore, mi fanno sentire sbagliata ed incapace. Perché il mio desiderio più grande è quello di far contenti tutti, e capita che le persone che amo soffrano a causa mia.
Questo mi uccide. Se però loro non soffrissero, se nessuno giudicasse sbagliato il mio comportamento, se tutti si limitassero ad usarmi, senza preoccuparsi di questi moralismi, allora forse potrei essere felice. Chi ti dice che non potrei essere felice? Dove sta scritto che il mio concedermi sia un comportamento patologico ed influenzato dall'esterno, e non piuttosto l'opposto, ovvero che sia la sofferenza per quello che è un comportamento spontaneo ad essere indotta? Chi ti assicura che non sia la morale, l'opinione comune, e persone like you, who publish on a website saying that the rating of behavior makes the person who does a "bad person", to create me problems? Problems that otherwise might not have.
is suffering from being viewed in this way, which makes me feel bad, makes me sick, and therefore looking for someone, a man to enjoy, which again makes me feel good, useful, desired right regardless of the rest. Knowledge to achieve its desire of a man who otherwise, even paying, she could have someone like me, to be her miracle ... The awareness does not always help, I assure you. It does not help to change, is only fully understand what our problems, and that there is no way to solve them.
Sorry if I wrote again, I will not try to take advantage. But for what it has done many sessions, this time is different. When a doctor the
you see me talking to you more ... diplomatic channels. Read what you wrote in an impersonal way the site has caused a different reaction from those I experienced in other areas. Now, however close it here.
Thanks for your attention.
If I were you asked I'll say, thirty years old in just over a month I go on like this since I was 17, age at which I had my first real depression ... My father did not feel proud of my approach to sexuality.
