anna Age: 36
Hello, reading the testimonies related to emotional dependency, I recognized in what is told .. I really had a childhood difficult: my parents were totally absent, we are often too lived in separate houses, my mother at my father's perpetual pursuit, which has betrayed, humiliated, beaten, exploited from the point of view.
Despite this, has always forgiven, even agreeing to go away from me to keep up with her tantrums and constant demands. From this man, who cost me a huge effort to call "father", I also suffered harassment and attempts of violence from 8 to 14 years, from which I was always alone to defend myself. I grew up with his grandparents, but died very young , leaving me all alone at 18. I've always been very independent
, both for character, which by necessity, this led me to work time, always having great satisfaction (not from the point of view cheap!) in professionale.Ho also several good friends and many interests, and this makes my life quite pleasant. From the point of view affective, however, my situation has always been a penalty, from an early age I always had men that I have never said I love you, always prefixed their interests to me, not They never tried to share anything with me ..
The last story began almost 10 years ago, after a few months I discovered she is pregnant, for me the best thing of my entire life.
I knew he did not feel ready, so I told him to choose: could decide not to recognize the small, or to recognize it, but without obligation to stay with me, still would have seen the child when he wanted. He
chose to stay with me, but with an attitude that seems so hostile volermela to pay! In all these years, very little tenderness, so neglect, humiliation, small, no sex. It 'a good father, even if little present, but with me it's disastrous. I tried to share my interests with him, but to no avail .. I can not share his interest, because it has none, not even friends .. Despite ciò, non passa per niente tempo con me, solo ogni tanto tenta un approccio sessuale, ma, non vedendosi mai, non essendoci nessuno scambio affettivo, non è così automatico..
In più, delega tutto a me, dalla gestione della casa, a tutto ciò che riguarda la figlia, e tende a sminuire quello che faccio: il mio lavoro non è poi così stancante/importante, la casa potrebbe essere tenuta meglio, dovrei tenere di più alla sua famiglia, e tante altre piccole cose.. Non lo amo più, sento di meritarmi di più, vorrei stare sola, a meno di incontrare una persona che volesse veramente me e che sapesse amarmi.
Eppure non riesco a lasciarlo.. forse, non avendo altri familiari, nè fratelli, nè sorelle, o zii, cugini, ho troppa paura della solitudine.. o forse non mi stimo abbastanza.. A volte mi dico che ci sono uomini peggiori e situazioni peggiori: in fin dei conti non mi ha mai maltrattata seriamente o fatto cose particolarmente gravi.. Ma non riesco più ad andare avanti così, sto veramente
male e temo non sia di buon esempio neanche per la bimba, che adesso ha quasi 9 anni e si rende perfettamente conto della situazione.
Anna
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